In
By Zythyra Basha
“What, you say, transgendered people in New Hampshire?”
“No, it couldn’t be, I’ve never seen one of them anywhere around here.”
Well, just as many of our readers already know that there are lesbian, gay and bisexual folks in New Hampshire, there is also a small but growing community of transgendered folks living here in the Live Free or Die state. For our first issue of Equality Press, I’d like to help you get to know your transgendered neighbors here in New Hampshire and to perhaps even dispel a few stereotypes regarding trans folks in the process. Just as all lesbians or gay men are not alike, the trans community is a diverse one, with people from all walks of life, of different religions, and with many different expressions of gender. I think of gender as a continuum, not just male or female, but many shades of gender in between. It is in these in-between places that some of us in the T community reside. I don’t pretend to speak for the entire trans community of New Hampshire, we are each unique individuals with our own opinions and viewpoints. I speak as just one transperson living here in New Hampshire. But I do hope that I can help give voice to at least some of us in the community.
The transgender community is inherently linked with the greater LGBTIQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Questioning) community, however, we’re more than just another letter in the acronym. Where is the line between a butch lesbian or an F2M transsexual? To the uninitiated, they might both seem to be alike. But there is a major difference: the butch lesbian might identify as a woman, the F2M as a gay man. Would either be allowed to attend a women-only event without harassment if they so wished? Where is the line between a drag queen and an M2F transsexual? Again, to some people they might both seem exactly alike. But the drag queen might identify as a gay male, and the M2F as a heterosexual woman. Could either of them attend a women-only event if they wished? We’ve all heard the tired old stereotypes that all gay men like to wear dresses and want to be women. Most gay men I know do not go for wearing dresses at all. Furthermore, a majority of cross dressing men identify as straight, and many don’t consider themselves to be part of the greater LGBT community. As you can see, gender is not always a simple matter of either/or.
On the other hand, when anyone is oppressed or bashed for being lesbian or gay, it is often as much for perceived gender transgression as much as who the perpetrator thinks we might or might not sleep with. It is all too easy to confuse sexual orientation issues with gender identity issues. Sorting through various aspects of these overlapping issues can be an arduous process for any transgendered person. In various phases of my own coming out process spanning the last number of years, I’ve come out as L, G, B and T, all of these at least once. To anyone new to the concept of transgender, I’d like to offer some definitions of the more common terminology. This is just an overview: consider this the Trans 101 crash course.
Transgender: An umbrella term often used to describe the whole trans community, from cross dressers to post-op transsexuals. Transgenderist is also sometimes used to describe someone who lives full time in the gender opposite their birth, without surgery. Not everyone in the trans community agrees on the use of transgender as an umbrella term.
Transsexual: A person who has changed gender from that of their birth. A pre-op (short for pre- operative) transsexual is someone who has not yet had surgery, a post-op transsexual has had SRS (sex reassignment surgery). Nowadays there are many people who identify as non-op, choosing to not have surgery but to live in their gender role of choice. Wait a minute, wasn’t that a transgenderist a couple of minutes ago?” Yes, it can get confusing; it even is to some of us. Again, there are some in our community who don’t like to identify as transsexual, similar to many gay people who don’t like to identify as homosexual. In both instances, these terms have been used by some in the medical community to pathologize our existence.
Cross-dresser: Someone who likes to dress as the gender opposite to that of their birth gender, but doesn’t wish to live in that gender full time. This is sometimes a first step in the process for some transsexuals before deciding to go full time, but one shouldn’t assume that all cross-dressers wish to be transsexuals. They don’t. In the past, transvestite was used to describe a person who cross-dressed, and it was assumed that someone cross dressing was doing so merely as a sexual turn-on. Many cross-dressers do not identify as transvestites for this very reason. Some people use the term dressing in drag to describe cross-dressing but many cross-dressers don’t wish to be confused with drag queens and visa-versa. Perhaps it is becoming clear to you why many people don’t like the idea of an umbrella term to describe an entire diverse community.
Here’s some shorthand that you’re likely to hear in the trans community. TS is short for transsexual, M2F is used to describe persons born male changing to female, and F2M to describe persons born female changing to male. Transition is that moment when you decide to change genders, along with losing your family, close friends and job in one fell swoop, all because you can’t stand being the gender of your birth for one moment longer. GID stands for Gender Identity Disorder, the diagnosis from the DSM IV that one needs to receive HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). According to the Benjamin Standards of Care, one must do the RLT (Real Life Test) for 1-2 years before one can have an SRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery). TG is for transgender, TV is used for transvestite and CD for cross-dresser. IS is for intersex, this used to be called hermaphrodite, most intersex people prefer not to use that word. “Passing” is what you do if no one “reads” you (i.e., thinks you’re a guy in a dress) while you’re picking up a few groceries after work. “Sir” is what you’re called in a loud voice when you are “read” at the post office. I’m sure there’s a few more that I must’ve forgotten to mention in this list.
So, where does this leave the transgendered community here in New Hampshire? Some are invisible either by choice or necessity, and those that are visibly out are a small minority. What are our civil rights, if any, here in New Hampshire? And how might these be the same or differ from the rights that other LGBIQ folks have or do not have in this state? Tune in next time for the answers to these and other exciting questions. For now, suffice it to say we are a diverse bunch, and I hope in coming issues of Equality Press to introduce you to various members of our community and to fill you in on our activities in LGBTIQ organizations across the state. In parting, I can tell you this as you look around your neighborhood to try and meet a friendly transperson, you won’t find too many of us New Hampshire trans folk wearing high heels. They just don’t do very well at all in the snow.
Zythyra Basha is a longtime acoustic musician, writer, teacher and activist. Zythyra and partner are co-founders of It’s Time, NH, a statewide chapter of It’s Time, America, a national organization devoted to advocacy and education for gender variant persons and their allies. Zythyra was also a board member of PFLAG-NH for a two year tenure. Zythyra identifies as M2F2? (at least for this week), likes to cook vegetarian food, prefers to not use gender pronouns and resides in the lakes region of NH with partner, child and cat.